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Heavens Seat

May 11 2022

Look into my eyes

I am not the maker of your demise.

You sat me down,

And told me the news

Said your brain is ill,

But you'll be ok soon.

I remember the day,

A Wednesday afternoon.

You kept breathing,

But I stopped believing.

I sit here and wonder,

What would you say?

I hope you can see me,

At the edge of the water,

Ready to submerge.

Hunting the desire to feel,

But merely numb.

The tide rolls in,

Slamming against the shore.

Similar to your demise,

Crashing into my life.

The tide rolls out,

Only to return harder.

Similar to that of trauma,

Each with a wave of emotions.

Like water rocking the boat,

Events stir my life,

Unfolding trauma hidden deep,

Here comes the traumatic tide.

My surface looks hostile,

Alike the rough water.

But what lies underneath?

I was surviving,

My water was unturned.

Then May 8th came my way,

Happy Motherless Daughter day.

A flood of texts engulf me,

Reminding me of the pain.

A celebration to many,

Regular Sunday for me.

The sun wakes me in the morning,

But I no longer feel alive.

I look in the mirror,

Unable to recognize.

2.5 years to the date,

And nothing remains.

A stranger in your eyes,

A person you never knew.

Is heaven all it's cracked up to be?

A place or a feeling,

Whatever it may be,

Please wait for your little bee.

xo bee.

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