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New Penny


I find myself shaken to the bone,

Fear the reflection that I see,

A child who was disown,

That’s all I’ll ever be.

You left when I was twenty,

He did too.

He found a new penny,

Replace the old with the new.

Everyday we live with grief,

Orphaned adult,

Hard to turn a new leaf,

It feels like an insult.

Three years creeping in,

Barely know my own kin.

I’ve grown into someone new,

Did a whole coup.

But the trauma comes in waves,

Trying to forget who I was,

I’ve dug my own grave ,

Unable to hit pause.

Anxious attachment is the label,

Go to therapy each week.

Would do anything to be stable,

Running out of techniques.

Does the vicious cycle end?

The demons have been disclosed,

In hopes that I mend,

But, I will be disposed.

I often wonder what you think,

Do I make you proud?

Or do you stare bleak.

Please, say it out loud.

I'm sorry I'm more than you bargained for,

I was disowned,

Continually falling into your trap-door,

Every time you phoned.

It's time I cut the ties,

From someone I once knew,

One too many cries,

Over this simple shrew.

The shine will fade,

You will realize what you betrayed.

Your penny is worn,

Soon you will mourn.

Now it is too late,

There is no fresh slate.

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